Postmortem to my big brother Truls
--   Thursday November 27th 2003
Although I will always love him, I'll never fathom why he so abruptly decided to leave his wife, three gorgeous children, two very loving parents, and me (his little brother) with such excruciating pain.  As unbelievable and horrendous as this may sound; yesterday my brother committed suicide.
I can't really blame him for leaving me in the dust — but why why why did he choose not to see his children grow up and blossom?  And why why why would someone with such success in both business and social life, and with the most supporting parents, decide to take his own life?
He had no alcohol problem, no drug problem, and no money problem.  So what was this black hole that he could not see through?  I guess we will never know.
But no matter what, to commit suicide was completely out of character for my brother who always seemed to fully enjoy life.  It's beyond EVERYONE who knew him — including the entire farmers community back home — why why why?
Although after sharing many mesmerizing things together while growing up, the last few years he and I had more or less lost contact.  This I certainly regret.  Except for an occasional phone call now and then, it was mostly thru our parents that we kept contact.  But since he was constantly surrounded with very loving and open-minded people, it's so very hurtful that he wouldn't bother to talk to any one of them before committing this heinous act.
I am quite confused and somewhat bitter right now, but I expect this to pass soon.  I realize that those last few tenebrous minutes of his life are just a little blot on the brilliance and support he showed everyone throughout his lifetime.  To me, he was really a BIG brother, constantly teaching me the ways of life — whether it was social skills or how to ride a motorcycle — he was always there for me.
Initially I set out to write a long eulogy about my brother, but I'm left numb and speechless... and I'm left with a void larger than anything I've ever experienced.  I'm floored.
Truls, jeg haaper endelig du har det godt.
My brother -- Truls Landa
My brother's lovely kids -- Sindre, Kristi, & Idunn